Faced with graduating soon myself, I’m anticipating a remarkably similar conflict, though minus the promise of a job back home.
I have the blissful clarity of one who can only observe the impending crossroads from afar; I’m undoubtedly still blind to the smaller issues that heighten the difficultly in moving forward. Rising to the challenge of figuring out my own future, I resolved to go wherever would take me to the few things I list as wanting:
- to live with only my two sisters for a period of time. (For fun, I’ll let you know that Annika and Larissa are my reason, in general, for everything. Annika, nineteen, acts too cool only because she IS too cool. She works 5 days a week at a badass Italian Motorcycle Shop in Newport Beach and attends UCI as a badass waterpolo goalie. Being taller, more muscular, and admittedly more attractive than I, she is the badass version of myself. She also has a heart of gold, unknown to everyone too scared to speak to her. Larissa is a senior in high school. Annika and I are convinced she’s actually an angel, and it’s hard to resist consorting the oracle multiple times a day when she happens to be my youngest sibling. Her wisdom is so beyond her years that sometimes we catch a glimpse at how painful it would be to carry so much of the world while so young. I take it upon myself to remind her the silliness and sincere ridiculousness of life; she needs reminding that she’s seventeen. So there—some hefty background!)
- to write a book.
…and that’s all I came up with. I can only come up with two things that would devastate me if I didn’t accomplish them in my lifetime.
So when the graduating time comes and I have to choose Santa Cruz or my hometown…. I’m gonna sit with this list and see which place would help me more. Unless an opportunity comes and slaps me in the face, a bachelor’s degree in Literature makes it safe to say that I’m looking at quirky little jobs here and there as opposed to an immediate career.
I always knew that, and I’m still okay with it.
Also, I’ve been doing the tango with minimal finances for as long as I can remember; I don’t find him to be the bad dance partner most find him to be. I like the music too much to really care about his limitations, if you know what I mean. So long as I’m only supporting myself and no health issues rise, I’m just going to head wherever impulse takes me. And if I mess up, I turn around, and try something else. My personal philosophy is that there is always time to fail so long as I face the next opportunity for movement with enthusiasm. And there is always another opportunity.
Speaking of failures, I might have to call it quits on the advice; I’ve become so reflective, repetitive, and scattered that I’m sure you’re seasick. So sticking to my philosophy, I think I can move on to tell you with perfect confidence that while Ahab and Queegueg have undeniable nobility, it’s the homie Stubb I have the hots for. The greatest threat Moby Dick poses to me as a reader is his potential to harm my dear second mate in the coming chapters.