Oneness

Somehow putting on my Dad’s shirt made me feel better. Something about it was cold, something about it was warm.

It felt woven with all the Balance I didn’t have.

It was my cloak from myself, somehow. The material might have laid outside my skin, but it acted to separate my body from my mind for a second.

The most dangerous times, after all, was when they were the same thing.

Anyway, I had my protective layer on. I laid down in bed, and looked straight at the mirror.

I smiled at the girl I saw ahead of me. I tilted my head at her. She tilted hers back.

She was pretty. From this distance she seemed to have clear skin.

But her eyes said, “This T-Shirt is protecting me from Something deep inside it.”

And I know my eyes said back, “Something deep inside, where all the fibers ache.”

Nothing was wrong, necessarily. It was like she needed time alone.

But couldn’t find it. Anywhere.

Her eyes grew heavy, but she heard her fingers still typing and grew fond of her hands. They were so diligent to her thoughts. They were little spouts to her tea pot of feelings.

And before her eyelids dropped, she felt her fingers desperately tapping away to the Microsoft Word document, eager to get a couple things down.

Before she forgot them forever.

She wanted to remind her future self to…

“Never do anything because you have to, do it because you care.”

Remember you are working very hard, and you really are doing well.

Remember that the One loves you. He does.

Remember to only move because you want to. Only work out because you care.

Don’t be so hard on your mistakes.

If you know you won’t be happy about making a choice, don’t make it.

No complaining.

The Summer One called. He said ‘You were right’ and he said ‘Thanks for believing in me.’ Also he wants to start writing, says he found someone.  

Recall that this made you want to call the Music One and tell him you love him.

Recall that this made you want to see The Friend One.

Recall that you went home and watched the Friend One’s movie.  

Remember how much you thought of your situation with Wish One as you watched the movie.

Realized that its possible the Wish One only used you. And does not love you. And will not love you, not as the Current One can, does, and will.

Remember that.

Recall that you might have thought of all your Ones today.

Except yourself.

The girl in the mirror clutched her Dad’s shirt tighter.

Never alone, always haunted.

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